Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just high enough for therapy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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