why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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