Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder meâ€
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
