Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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