Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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