and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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