Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
