it was like eating out sand paper
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Vodka?
Forever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
