I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
