trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
