I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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