Farmville is her only friend.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
