did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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