no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
