yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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