ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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