I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
