Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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