Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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