smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want to make out with him forever
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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