dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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