Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
