??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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