I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just got carded by a ten year old.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
