bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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