it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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