At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
