is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
