we made out on top of his cat.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
