so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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