I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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