i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
