I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
