I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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