South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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