So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
