I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
