she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize