I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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