if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
