I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
