I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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