Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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