Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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