Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
