So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
