She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
