I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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