Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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