... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
