i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
