This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
