I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
