i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
