I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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