i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize