break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
