He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
