There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize