"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
