Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just high enough for therapy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize