Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
