i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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