He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
