What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
