I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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