She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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