it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
