Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
