Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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