No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
